Aloha Cary, My family wants to get together during the holidays and my husband’s parents want to spend time with us, too. We want to celebrate the holidays with some couple time, since we are always busy working. It’s stressful
Aloha Cary,
My family wants to get together during the holidays and my husband’s parents want to spend time with us, too. We want to celebrate the holidays with some couple time, since we are always busy working. It’s stressful deciding on what to do. Both sets of parents don’t like each other, either. Also, it’s always nice to see everyone in the extended families but after a short time of answering the same “small talk” questions, it gets boring. Can you help?
Humbug in Hanalei
Aloha Humbug in Hanalei,
It’s important during the holidays to honor your parents, siblings, extended family, traditions, customs and your romantic relationship.
Have a thoughtful conversation with your partner on ways to have quality time with your families and together, creating a healthy balance for all involved.
The holidays are about being with the people we love. You have options, since Christmas and New Year’s occurs during the week this year:
1) Consider celebrating Christmas with your families on the weekend prior.
2) Have your special morning/evening Christmas time and then be with your families.
3) Be with one side of the family during Christmas and the other side during New Year’s while having quality time for you both.
As most of us feel the joy and excitement of the holiday season, the important thing is to find ways to feel connected and experience meaningful moments with our families during the holidays.
Ponder the individuals, couples and families who are going through very difficult times and might find it challenging to rejoice in the spirit of the season. These people may be alone, perhaps without a special loved one due to a recent loss or separation. Maybe they are in the hospital with a serious illness, a detention center, assisted living facility or just moved to Kauai and are far away from family and friends. Instead of feeling joyful they may feel helpless, sad, abandoned, isolated, heartbroken or in great physical discomfort.
As a family how about go visit someone in need of empathy, conversation and loving positive thoughts?
Break into groups of two or three and bring food to folks you know in the community who are alone, or on a limited budget and can’t splurge on a holiday meal or volunteer as a group at a soup kitchen.
Go to the nurses station in a hospital and ask who doesn’t get any visitors. Have the nurses check if that person would like a visitor.
Bring a small gift with you. Maybe they’ll enjoy meeting you and ask to revisit them. Later the family can discuss their different experiences over a meal and share what each person is grateful for and appreciate each other.
Go Green. As a family take an easy hike together or a walk on a beach picking up any trash along the way or walk to see a fun movie all together.
Precious gifts come in all different sizes and ways, so offer up and accept random acts of kindness.
Don’t sweat the small stuff with your family. Time with them is precious and all too often we later realize (sometimes after they have passed on) we didn’t tell them enough that we loved them. Here’s to new traditions filled with joy, hope and inspiration throughout the year!
Warm Regards,
Cary
• Cary Valentine is a certified relationship expert, author & wedding officiant. His passion is to coach singles, couples & families to overcome daily challenges and create a juicy life. For more info call (808) 346-6652 He welcomes your questions at: Cary@InLoveForever.tv
