Aloha Cary, My partner and I are getting excited about our summer vacation. Though on our trips in the past, we often argued more than we would like to admit on the amount of money we spent on excursions and
Aloha Cary,
My partner and I are getting excited about our summer vacation. Though on our trips in the past, we often argued more than we would like to admit on the amount of money we spent on excursions and gifts, as well as agreeing on activities to do together, since our energies and interests are different. Can you offer us any suggestions so we can change this pattern?
Wanna Be Happy On Vacation, Hanalei
Aloha Wanna Be Happy On Vacation,
Bring a sense of discovery not only about the place you’re visiting but to your relationship as well. Be new. Renew.
A recent survey reports that 66 percent of couples have a blow out argument while on vacation, so don’t feel like you are alone in this area. Let’s explore incorporating a few tips into your trip so you truly have a time to remember.
Mix It Up
Spending 24 hours a day together can be a challenge being harmonious with each other. One of you might like hanging out by the pool or beach reading a good book all day and the other likes to be on the go; visiting museums, churches, going to sporting events, concerts and playing golf, etc. Have a conversation before you travel, sketching out the essence of what each of you would like to do during the vacation, will be very helpful in reducing tension during the trip as you’ll be more aware of each other’s desires. Decide on a mix of together and solo time. Then you’ll be excited to see each other and share stories about your solo outings.
Luxuriate
Don’t cram in too much. It’ll make you tired and cranky. Make a wish list of three or four activities you definitely want to do and allow and enjoy the rest of your plans to unfold naturally. Doing this, you’ll often meet interesting people and have experiences that you wouldn’t otherwise.
Stop Self-Sabotaging
Have you ever noticed when it’s finally time to kick back and celebrate a promotion, date night or while on vacation that you put a kibosh on your joy by bickering with your partner over something minuscule. Like there’s an unconscious limit to the amount of fun we’ll allow ourselves to experience. Are you scared about expanding into a new level of joy? If so, recognize and catch this squelching pattern as quick as you can. Breath. Relax and allow. Smile and share a laugh with your partner.
Sleep In
Most folks’ lives are very busy and they keep up the same pace on vacation, that they need a vacation from the vacation. Take time to rest. It will pay off as you come home feeling refreshed, healthier and inspired. Creativity is one of the first qualities lost when a person doesn’t get enough sleep. Take advantage of the extra rest and enjoy some morning snuggle love. That’ll put a smile on your face and people will ask, “Are you on your honeymoon?” While we are on the subject, consider making your reservation for a romantic night out a little later and enjoy each other before dinner, as you might be too tired afterwards.
Enjoy Spending
Before the trip, discuss and decide on your vacation budget. Be clear where you’ll splurge and where you’ll cut back if something exceptional shows up. Have fun communicating. Be grateful for the abundance in your life to afford this trip in the first place.
Unplug
Set up an auto-responder email to let your contacts know you are out of the office. If they have an emergency give them a contact number of a colleague or the ability to leave a message. Check emails and phone messages only a few times a day.
Soul Exploring
Pack the book “Getting to Know You” by Jeanne McSweeney and have fun asking questions to your partner, creating a fresh vibe on your trip and learn new things about each other during lunch or on a relaxing stroll through a park.
Here’s to a yummy vacation,
Cary
PS — Extra Tips For Traveling with the Family If you’re vacationing with extended family, create some alone time by going stand up paddleboarding, renting a kayak or book a couples massage. Got kids? Speak with the concierge about arranging a safe, supervised activity for the kids for a few hours while you rekindle your affection for each other.
