One adult and two teens requested information on how to make a good decision this week. While many people of all ages get nervous about making decisions, let’s deal with that first. Some folks put off decisions because they think
One adult and two teens requested information on how to make a good decision this week.
While many people of all ages get nervous about making decisions, let’s deal with that first.
Some folks put off decisions because they think that if they don’t make the decision they can’t be wrong.
But that’s wrong.
Not making a decision is making a decision.
It’s deciding not to take action. It might lead to something that you want.
Many people think that there is only one right answer to a decision. While that may be true in math, it is rarely true in decisions that are of a problem-solving nature.
Others freeze about making decisions because they aren’t 100 percent sure that it’s the best decision, or don’t have all the info they think is needed to make the perfect decision.
But as it turns out, being 85 percent sure of a decision is about as good as it gets. We just can’t see the future to know how our decision will turn out.
Here are some tips for easier decision making:
Clearly define the problem. What really is the problem you’re trying to solve? If you get really clear about what the problem is, you may get clearer about what the solution is that you want, so it will be easier to decide something because it should help you get what you want.
Brainstorm your possible choices. Consider different solutions, perhaps by asking people you trust, like friends and family, or professionals in the area to give you some good ideas.
Get on-line and do some research. You’ll be amazed at what’s there.
List “pros” and “cons” of each choice. Many high school seniors recently had to decide which college they wanted to attend.
For some, staying on-island was a big plus, while traveling to the Mainland was a minus.
For others, it was just the opposite.
Some subjects are only taught at certain colleges, so choices may be limited. And don’t forget to consider the risks of each side. For example: If you are on the Mainland, and there’s an emergency, will you be anxious because family might not get to you right away?
You can lessen risk factors once you know what they are, and what your options are. In this case, you could “adopt” an auntie or make a close friend whom you could count on.
Consider how you feel about your choice, and not just what you think about it. After you’ve had the mind debate, let your intuition take over. What does your gut tell you? What’s your hunch? And where do hunches come from? Quantum physicists are beginning to prove that everything is connected to everything else, which Hawaiian ancestors taught their children. Let the part of you that is connected to the outcome give you feedback. You might even imagine how you would feel if you made a decision. If you feel energized, or contented, it’s probably a good decision. If you feel anxious or worried, then it might be a bad choice.
Try journaling.
Writing kick starts your intuitive and creative side of the brain into gear.
Ask, “What is the worst thing that can happen from this decision?” Chances are that you can live with the choice, and it will help lead you to an even better decision. Most choices aren’t all good or all bad.
If evaluation is built into decision making, a bad decision isn’t considered failure at all. Learn what was good about the choice you made and keep it. Change what didn’t work, and make it better. Thomas Edison tried about 400 times to make a light bulb, and each time he learned a little more until he succeeded.
Here’s another way to look at it: Once in awhile when I ask my husband if we’re lost he’ll say, “Nope. I know right where I am. It’s just not where I want to be.”
Several adults have “stepped into the corner” for our teens, to answer questions and give support in the boxing ring of life! They are Catherine Stovall, community response specialist, County of Kaua’i; Edmund Acoba, Public Defender, Craig De Costa, county Prosecuting Attorney, Officer Paul Applegate, Kaua’i Police Department, Daniel Hamada, Superintendent of Schools, Jill Yoshimatsu, Director of the DOE Mokihana program, and Annaleah Atkinson, Teen Court Manager for Hale ‘Opio Kaua’i.
• If you have something to share with Kaua’i Teens, or need to ask a question, e-mail Annaleah at: aatkinson@haleopio.org, or snail mail her at Hale ‘Opio Kaua‘i Inc., 2959 Umi St., Lihu‘e, HI 96766. She will field it to the person who can best help with the answer.
