Bat Romance: U.S. scientists are reporting success after having spent over three years and nearly $5 million listening to thousands of recordings of love sounds emitted by romantic bats in an effort to decode exactly what sparks a bat’s romantic
Bat Romance: U.S. scientists are reporting success after having spent over three years and nearly $5 million listening to thousands of recordings of love sounds emitted by romantic bats in an effort to decode exactly what sparks a bat’s romantic interests. Gee, I guess the study’s worth the time and money if you’re interested in dating bats. I could make a few suggestions myself. If dinner is on the agenda, make sure to select a place with plenty of insects on the menu. After dinner, head to a really cool, dimly-lit spot where the two of you can just “hang” for the rest of the evening.
Tourism: North Korea has just agreed to reopen its border with South Korea and resume tourism ventures. Terrific news! Its about time this vacation wonderland is open again. Its hard to imagine anywhere that would be a more fun-packed vacation than North Korea. And there’s nothing like watching a military parade to honor Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il to warm the hearts of the entire family. I’ve just booked reservations at one of Pyongyang’s “no bed and no breakfast inns.”
Taking the Fall: A man plunged 30 feet through a rusted-out metal plate on a New York City sidewalk after stepping outside an Off-Track betting parlor to smoke a cigar. Guess you can say smoking really is hazardous to your health. My guess is that with luck like that, we don’t have to ask how well the horse he bet on did.
Movies: Last weekend, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to come over and watch a movie she had rented called “Dances with Wolves.” I told her “no thanks, I don’t care for musicals.”
Switching Sides: Samoa recently became the first nation since the 1970s to order its drivers to switch from one side of the road to the other. Sociologists say this may be the biggest switch we’ve seen since George Michael switched sides back in the 1990s.
Kauai Marathon: Everyone seems to be calling the Kauai Marathon a terrific success. Perhaps, but I wonder how insects such as ants might view the event if they had their own newspapers? The headlines would probably read something like, “thousands killed in stampede!”
Failed Again: This morning I tried to make orange juice from concentrate, but I couldn’t concentrate.
Viagra Warning: The FDA says it now plans to require Viagra and other impotence drugs to warn users of possible sudden hearing loss. All I can say is “I heard that!” Guess that explains why Viagra users enjoy watching mimes perform so much. To further emphasize the danger, the FDA says everyone issued a prescription for Viagra will now get a free iTunes download of Simon and Garfunkel’s recording of the “Sounds of Silence.” On a side note, quite a few women are asking “what’s the big deal?” Many report they’ve been complaining about men’s inability to hear them long before anyone ever heard of Viagra.
• Johnny Robish is a humor writer and former stand-up comic who lives on Kaua‘i. E-mail him at johnny@johnnyrobish.com.
