The Garden Island newspaper headline read, “Defendant, witnesses, judge and victim’s family attend luncheon.” It seems that very early the morning of Thursday, April 22, in a Princeville neighborhood, a fatal assault occurred resulting in the death of a young
The Garden Island newspaper headline read, “Defendant, witnesses, judge and victim’s family attend luncheon.”
It seems that very early the morning of Thursday, April 22, in a Princeville neighborhood, a fatal assault occurred resulting in the death of a young male. An island visitor was apprehended, brought to trial later that morning and soon after, released. Immediately upon release the defendant, witnesses, the trial judge and relatives of the victim attended lunch together at a Lihu‘e fast food restaurant.
According to reports, the young male had been making a “ruckus” of sorts in a Princeville neighborhood, near the 8th green of the newly renovated Oceans Course, causing most of the residents to awaken between the hours of 4:30 and 5:30 a.m. Apparently the disturbance consisted of “well timed and consistent loud noises or short outbursts,” according to residents, and even after having been “warned several times by the defendant,” the young male continued to “aggressively, unabashedly and seemingly without remorse” continue his assault upon the peace and tranquility of the surroundings.
“The next thing I knew,” said one witness, a pajama-clad (white and blue hibiscus pattern), dentist from Winnipeg, “the sun-burned defendant had the victim in his clutches and made one violent and rapid snap, breaking the small and tender neck of the victim. Frankly, I was thinking of doing the same thing myself but he beat me to it, and since I was on my honeymoon I didn’t feel it was a good time to ruffle any feathers.”
The perpetrator, caught red-handed and identified as Roger Lepley of Kalamazoo, Mich., immediately confessed to the slaying and was treated to a cup of strong Kauaian Coffee by a neighbor and invited to a timeshare presentation whenever he might be released and promised brunch at the newly renovated St. Regis Hotel upon completion of the one-hour, or more-likely-two-hour, presentation.
According to court records, the trial was held at 11 a.m. in the Kaua‘i County Courthouse, preceded by District Court Judge Judy Kahanamanahilohilomommamomma ‘mahalo, who heard testimony of the defendant, several sleep-deprived witnesses and a local chef whose testimony was described by a court visitor as “enthusiastically presented and spiced” with convincing testimony that the annoying victim was “ready for killing and I applaud Mr. Lepley for knowing,” and then apparently paraphrasing author John Grisham, “when it was ‘a time to kill.’”
It turns out that the judge was convinced by all who testified that Mr. Lepley had reasonable motives to commit the very early morning act and soon thereafter acquitted the accused of all charges. Immediately thereafter, the judge noted that it was “nearing the noon hour” and suggested that all in attendance meet at the KFC on Kuhio Highway for lunch.
She suggested that the victim’s family was already in attendance and would not utter any objections. She also ordered that the victim, known to have been transported to trial in a small Ziplok body bag as “People’s Exhibit A,” be given a proper burial “some time after lunch.” At that point it was noted that both the victim and the chef had quietly disappeared from the courtroom.
