I took this week’s review in a slightly different direction. No vampires, no abnormally large creatures and no poorly made black-and-white Ed Wood features. Just a straightforward bad movie that did have some positive aspects, but was pretty much a
I took this week’s review in a slightly different direction. No vampires, no abnormally large creatures and no poorly made black-and-white Ed Wood features. Just a straightforward bad movie that did have some positive aspects, but was pretty much a confusing mess.
The choice was 2009’s “Streets of Blood” starring Val Kilmer and Curtis Jackson (better known as 50 Cent) as partners in the New Orleans Police Department.
I’d never heard of it either.
The movie also starred Sharon Stone as the department psychologist, delivering her version of a New Orleans accent. This must be what they talk about when actors say they “made a choice,” because it most certainly was not an actual New Orleans accent.
Kilmer, on the other hand, was terrific. I thought he nailed the accent, the role and was extremely compelling throughout, completely dominating any scene he was in.
I’m not sure why Kilmer keeps showing up in terrible movies. I’ve always found him to be one of the most natural male actors in Hollywood. Once again, he was noticeably outstanding, although it may have been easier to do with just how horrible the whole production was.
I was totally baffled by 50 Cent. Some of his delivery was cringe-worthy. Some of it was above average. Much of it was unintelligible. His musical detractors (of which I am not) have often cited his mumbling, so it would make sense that would continue on screen.
I can’t say for certain, but I have a feeling that the movie was shot in sequence, because his performance definitely gets better throughout. He is clearly “trying to act” in the first 45 minutes, instead of just acting.
Besides Kilmer, Barry Shabaka Henley gives the other strong performance as the police captain. He’s one of those “I’ve seen him before” guys and definitely improved the overall quality of the movie.
One person that didn’t was the director.
If Charles Winkler’s intention was confuse the you-know-what out of me, then I suppose he did his job. But I kid you not, it was 50 minutes into the movie before I had any idea that there was an actual plot forming.
The framework of the story is that Kilmer plays a long-time New Orleans cop whose partner was recently killed, either during Hurricane Katrina or the looting thereafter. 50 Cent was a Chicago cop who moved to New Orleans just before the hurricane, then becomes Kilmer’s new partner.
They are heavy into the gang and drug world, using a sort of “us-against-them” attitude that justifies some of their less-than-legal actions.
Some other crooked cops are in the mix, though they are even less likeable than Kilmer and 50. If the director wanted to show that there are pieces of good and evil in everyone, he didn’t. He showed us that cops kill, steal and are unapologetic afterwards — only he did it much worse than “Training Day.”
The whole movie is super gritty, which is just about the only way to use the word “super” in a comment for it. There is a ton of violence and a fair amount of nudity.
I wish I could form a more-focused explanation of what this movie was, but I really can’t. I don’t know why it wandered aimlessly until a decent excuse for a storyline emerged in the second half.
I don’t know why there was a 25-minute stretch on the back end where I really thought it was good.
I don’t know why the characters did half the things they did.
I don’t know why it ended the way it ended.
I’m not a person who needs everything laid out for me in cookie-cutter fashion. My favorite TV show is “Lost” (whose departure from the airwaves I will be mourning after tonight), so I’m all for leaving things to the imagination. But if you are going to be vague where message is concerned, there must be a good story to go with it.
This wasn’t.
Sorry Val… “Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang” was still awesome, though.
