Kaua‘i spiritual leaders answer on family

• Editor’s note: “Spiritual leaders answer on…” is a weekly column inviting Kaua‘i’s religious and spiritual leaders to share their doctrine’s perspective on a suggested subject. Every Friday a topic is printed inviting a response. Submissions are edited for content and length. Thoughts or suggestions for future topics are always welcome. Next week’s topic is miracles. The topic at the end of the column is for the following week.

Rebecca DeRoos                  

Science of Mind practitioner

“Behold and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in Unity.” Psalm 133:1.

Family is not just what we term as a father/mother/child connection. It is so much more. There are a variety of separate connected “unities,” which deem themselves and their closeness as family. It may be a softball team, a close-knit class of any sort, a hiking club, a hula dance group, a student or political council, and there are so many more.

Family begins where there is respect, caring, joy and love for each other and for whatever reason the group has joined. There’s a certain joy and desire and honor felt to be with this family. Unity becomes the purpose because it just feels good to be together!

Sometimes there may be a forced way of becoming family. It’s always up to the group to compromise and listen and share to reach this stage of unity. Being stuck in a mine shaft 2,000 feet below the earth’s surface for over 60 days, the Chilean miners allowed survival to be their guide. Respecting the needs of each other became their tie to one another. Sharing small bits of food and drink, remaining calm and tending to each other’s fears and depression was a huge undertaking, yet they did it. Respect and love grew, and they became family.

It’s interesting that the Bible uses the words, “friendship,” “fellowship,” “companions” and “brotherhood” so much more than the word “family.” Perhaps this is our key to real “family.” As John 15:13 states: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

Family in terms of spirit and our world is so much more. 1 Corinthians 10:17 says it best: “We being many are one bread and one body: For we are all partakers of that one bread.” Indeed we are all united and are one family. The way we connect is of our choice.

Kahu James Fung

Lihu‘e Christian Church

In biblical times, there was no doubt that a person’s primary responsibility was to one’s family, as it is with us now as well. But, there is a story in the Bible that tells of how a man wishes to be a follower of Jesus, and tells Jesus that he must first go and fulfill his responsibility to make all the arrangements for the burial of his father. Part of the respect that was paid to family was also to set a period of time for mourning. It seemed like a reasonable, responsible and loving thing to do. Reading this text, however, many have been surprised to hear Jesus’ reply when he said, “Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.” Matthew 8: 22.

Rather than seeing this as Jesus’ disregard for respect and loyalty to one’s family, however, we need to understand that Jesus is speaking of the urgency and the importance of tending to a larger family — the family of all God’s people. 

There is another instance in the Bible when Mary, the mother of Jesus and his brothers come to speak to him when he is in the midst of his healing and teaching ministry. Someone says, “Your mother and brothers are here.” Jesus then turns to his disciples and says, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?”

And pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” Matthew 12: 48-50.

The point is this: It is unmistakable and undeniable that one’s family is one’s highest priority. It is our primary source of support. It is where we direct the abundance of our love and affection. Therefore, for Jesus to say that his followers and his disciples were his family is to know how much love and affection he had for those who follow him and do the will of God, his father — and our father.

Lama Tashi Dundrup

Kaua‘i Dharma Center

In spiritual practice, we have the motivation to alleviate pain and suffering of others in this world and to bring all of them to the level of truth or enlightenment. We see ourselves and others as a family, all of us as interrelated and interconnected in this and past lives. We were all, at one time or another, one’s mother. We are part of a life-support system like brothers and sisters. We see the clear light nature of our mind as our permanent father and the universe as our permanent mother. We as the children honoring both through our spiritual practice of altruistic compassion and wisdom, working together to bring us to maturity in this human family, planet, and our home.

The Baha’is of Kaua‘i

The family is the most basic social unit and is the foundation of a nation. Just as “charity begins at home,” so does unity and tranquility. The advancement of the family affects the advancement of society. Therefore, every effort should be made to strengthen the family and to assure its protection and security.

The following quote from the Baha’i Writings clearly describes how the condition of the family affects the progress of society, a nation and ultimately all of humanity.

“A family is a nation in miniature. Simply enlarge the circle of the household and you have the nation. Enlarge the circle of nations and you have all humanity. The conditions surrounding the family surround the nation. The happenings in the family are the happenings in the life of the nation. Would it add to the progress and advancement of a family if dissension should arise among its members, fighting, pillaging each other, jealous and revengeful of injury, seeking selfish advantage? Nay, this would be the cause of the effacement of progress and advancement. So it is in the great family of nations, for nations are but an aggregate of families. Therefore as strife and dissension destroy a family and prevent its progress, so nations are destroyed and advancement hindered.”

Pastor Wayne Patton

Anahola Baptist Church

These are difficult days for families. But as 21st century families, we are not without resources, nor are we without biblical instructions.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 is perhaps the Bible’s golden rule for families. It points to three simple habits which can make a difference in our family life.

First, we are to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind and strength. This is the bedrock commandment in the Bible out of which all the others emerge. Each family member’s love for Jesus Christ is to be so self-evident, so plain and clear, so warm and open that no one in the family can possibly miss it.

Second, we are to keep God’s commands in our hearts. God says we should not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God. Families that read the Bible, individually and together, will find it to be “sweet pasturage.”

Third, we are to share with our family. The best way to share is the most natural way. We are to talk about the Word of God when we sit at home, when we walk along the road, when we lie down and when we get up.

This passage in Deuteronomy also instructs writing Scripture on the door frames of our houses and on our gates. There is a certain power to having Scripture verses printed and hung on the walls of our houses.

Nothing is more important for our families than to love God, to keep His commandments and to share His word with each other.

Mollie Osborn

Christian Science Church

My concept of family has expanded beyond human blood ties to include all mankind. In this more universal concept, I see God as Father/Mother of us all. Every one of us is a precious child of God. We are protected, directed and loved unconditionally. This universal concept of family is not limited to race, religion, nationality, etc. 

I desire to see my neighbors, community, the world — all mankind — as “my family.” I want to show respect for and genuinely care about my “brothers and sisters.” I want to diligently pray about what I read, see or hear in the news about my family — caring for others (feeling concern for) rather than ignoring the problems that daily confront us.

These two passages from the Bible have been helpful regarding family: “Have we not all one father? Hath not one God created us?” Mal 2:10. “While he (Jesus) yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him. Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee. But he answered and said unto him that told him, who is my mother? And who are my brethren? And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.” Matt 12:46

The world needs us to pray and care for each other, to express this brotherly/sisterly love and compassion in our unique, individual ways. Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer and founder of Christian Science wrote in her book Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures “With one Father, even God, the whole family of man would be brethren; and with one Mind and that God, or good, the brotherhood of man would consist of Love and Truth.”

Topic for two weeks

from today

• Will you speak to us on death?

• Spiritual leaders are invited to e-mail responses of three to five paragraphs to afrainier@thegardenisland.com.

• Deadline each week is 5 p.m. Tuesday.