After nearly 14 years of marriage, I’m dating again. Last Sunday, my date and I went to see a movie. We filled up on popcorn and candy and soda and watched a horrible children’s show. My son and I talked
After nearly 14 years of marriage, I’m dating again.
Last Sunday, my date and I went to see a movie. We filled up on popcorn and candy and soda and watched a horrible children’s show.
My son and I talked the whole way to the theater and the whole way home. No one interrupted him. He had my undivided attention.
Even though we both thought the movie stunk, the experience — we agreed — did not.
My 8-year-old was the first of my children who came up with an idea for a “date with mom.”
So he got to go first.
This weekend, it’s bowling with my oldest. Then my 4-year-old wants to visit the children’s museum in Milwaukee, so that will be my third date this month.
The idea of these dates, obviously, is to spend time alone with each of my three children. I want them to feel important and loved on their own, not just taken care of as a unit.
For a long time, perhaps my whole career, I ran our lives like a well-oiled machine. Wake up, get dressed, breakfast, kids to school, work, kids home from school, homework, dinner, activities, bath and bed. On the weekends it was cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping.
Sometimes a trip to the zoo or reading a bedtime story was squeezed into that schedule, but more often they were put off. Or they were a task accomplished instead of a fun, family experience.
About a month into my becoming a stay-at-home mom, my 4-year-old daughter — bored with the daily routine of cleaning, cooking, homework, dinner and bed — told me to “go back to work.”
“I want to go to Titi’s,” she said, with her arms crossed. Titi was her babysitter when I was working.
Ouch.
I laughed it off, but on the inside I was really concerned.
What changes had I made besides quitting my job? I was still rushing around, uptight about deadlines — even if they were my own.
Where’s the fun in that? Wasn’t this life change supposed to be good for my family?
As parents, sometimes I think we get lost in the chore of raising our children instead of the joy of raising our children. Or at least I did — often.
So I’m scheduling time, just for fun, with each of my kids.
I haven’t even gone on a date with my youngest yet, but we have been doing more than laundry and dishes recently.
Last week, before it got cold, we walked to the park by our house.
It was only 30 minutes out of the day, but she chattered on about the walk and the slide until bedtime.
That night, out of the blue, she came up and threw her arms around my legs. “You are the most wonderful,” she said.
I laughed, and this time there was no concern — only joy.
