How many times have you heard from your children that you couldn’t possibly understand the problems that they are going through? Do you remember saying the same thing to your own parents when you were a teenager? Perhaps you can
How many times have you heard from your children that you couldn’t possibly understand the problems that they are going through? Do you remember saying the same thing to your own parents when you were a teenager?
Perhaps you can even remember hearing stories from your kupuna (elders) about how hard things were for them “back in the day” before we had the modern conveniences of a bus system, electricity or even indoor plumbing.
Technology like the Internet and smart phones has definitely presented new challenges to our youth … an embarrassing moment at school is easily captured in video and posted within seconds on Facebook, whereas before, we had at least a day to compose ourselves before it was spread throughout the halls and the student body.
But still, no matter how old we are, we all think we had teachers we were sure hated us, experienced peer pressure and thought no one else could even come close to understanding our feelings of love or heartbreak.
Although things may seem different, each generation has had its own challenges to deal with and yet the solution to overcome those challenges has not changed.
At Leadership Kaua‘i, we encourage our adult and youth leaders to define their personal values so that when they make decisions, choices are based on important enduring beliefs.
Values reflect a person’s sense of right and wrong and life can be much easier when we acknowledge those ideals in our plans.
If you value “family” but you have to work 80-hour weeks in your job, you may feel stress and conflict. If you don’t value “competition” but your work environment revolves around competitive sales, you may not be satisfied with your job either.
A good way to define your values is to look back on experiences in your life when you were confident that you were making good choices.
Identify those times when you were the most proud of yourself and felt fulfilled and satisfied.
Why were you proud? What were you doing? What need was fulfilled? Did other people share in your happiness and pride? How did the experience give meaning to your life? Your values will be revealed from those experiences.
They may include things like aloha, community, dependability, discipline, excellence, generosity, health, legacy, strength or unity. Write them down to create your personal “Top 10” list.
Prioritize the values you have selected. Would you be proud to share your top three with someone you admire and respect?
Keep this list close and even memorized. Consider the list while making a decision and it will bring you clarity and the confidence that your choice is the right one.
• Sherri Patrick is the executive director/program director of Leadership Kaua‘i.
