Technology impacts every aspect of our lives, including romance, and dating websites continue to be a primary way to meet potential love matches. Unfortunately, it is also a way for scammers to increase their pool of potential victims.
The Federal Trade Commission numbers show that romance scams have risen 50% from 2019 to 2020, with a record $304 million lost. People ages 40 to 69 were the most-likely group to report losing money, and people 70 and over had the highest median losses. However, the younger generation wasn’t left out, as the number of reports doubled for 20-to-29-year-olds from 2019 to 2020.
Scams happen because con artists play on their victim’s emotions. From loneliness to wanting to find that special someone, emotions can often be the primary influence on actions, rather than logic. Catfishers take advantage of this vulnerability and earn the victim’s trust. Understanding how the scam artist appeals to our emotions is one step towards preventing the con.
The Better Business Bureau recommends the following tips to help detect the red flags:
Too good to be true
The scammer’s picture shows an attractive individual who is financially successful, overshares elaborate details about their life and is ready to jump into a relationship. If they come across as too perfect, take a step back. A reverse-image search of their profile picture that pulls multiple profiles means the images and identity of someone else has been stolen.
In a hurry to get off the site
The catfisher quickly moves from communicating via the dating site to email, messenger and the phone. This takes the relationship to the next level, which is exactly what they want.
Straight to dessert
The relationship goes from zero to 60 too fast. The con artist will refer to a future together and says “I love you” quickly. They know how to say all the right words to make the victim feel special.
They are talking about trust
In addition to the word “love,” the catfisher introduces “trust” into the relationship. They constantly talk about how vital trust is in their relationships and that they know the victim is trustworthy. This sets the stage to ask for money later.
Unable to meet in person
While the scammer talks about meeting in person, they always have an excuse as to why they can’t. For example, they often say they have to move around a lot due to their military status or they are taking care of a family member. Ask for a video chat — if they still pull every excuse in the book, they are likely not the person they claim to be.
Watch out for the language
BBB studies have revealed that many romance scam operations are traced overseas. They say they are from the U.S.; however, their writing indicates they haven’t mastered English. Do they use phrases that don’t make sense or struggle to keep up with the conversation?
Life has been rough
The catfisher has a tale of being down on their luck, for example, they’re stuck in a foreign country, a spouse or child died, they have a sick relative or any story to make you feel sorry about their situation.
They ask for money
When someone you have never met in person starts asking for money, be cautious. The relationship has built up to this moment where the payoff finally happens for the catfisher, and the victim loses financially — most often over time.
Protecting yourself or a loved one from a romance scam begins by recognizing the con. Remember, the catfisher uses our emotions to steal our hearts and our money.
To learn more about romance scams and other consumer tips, visit trust-bbb.org.
•••
Roseann Freitas ismarketplace manager, Hawai‘i, Better Business Bureau Northwest + Pacific, 900 Fort Street Mall, Ste. 1310, Honolulu, HI 96813 260-0643, bbb.org. Start with trust.
