If any of you letter-readers are here to have your opinion changed about anything, you are in the wrong place!
Comedian George Carlin said, ‘The reason I talk to myself is I am the only one whose advice I will listen to!”
Our biggest human fear in life is having to admit we were wrong about something, especially something we have been yelling from the rooftops that we are right about! It’s probably a bigger deal than speaking in front of a group or even dying! No kidding! Many of us would rather go to the grave than admit we were wrong. We are wired to prove we are right no matter the cost!
Unfortunately, admitting we were wrong to certain people is also the inside track to forgiveness, restoring broken relationships and getting on with life.
I figured that today is my 26,510 day alive. I don’t know how many more I have. But reflecting on that has me asking myself, “Is this how I want to spend my time? Grousing, complaining and trying to point out the stupidity of others? I don’t think so.
Hawai‘i requires all dogs relocating here to be vaccinated against rabies. I’ve not heard anyone complain about that. But, I’m sure you are out there!
Instead, we go on defending our positions against all odds and complaining how dumb others are. It’s never me the dumb one, except when it is.
George Carlin also said, “Imagine the average stupid person, then realize that half of all other people are stupider than that!”
The phrase “cutting off one’s nose to spite one’s own face” comes to mind. I know, I’ve been accused of that (although I wouldn’t admit it was true at the time, it caused me to stop and consider just what that meant).
Recognizing my human nature in all its ugliness means that I can immediately question the trustworthiness of my neighbor, a close friend, even a close family member, simply for discovering that they believe something contrary to what I know to be true. But I also can see that the ugly side to my human nature is inherited. It comes prepackaged in all of us humans, even us superhumans! But remembering that gives me a little wiggle room when I notice it and choose when I’m in the middle of it.
Wait! Am I choosing to let that 3-year-old in me run my life again and throw a tantrum? Or am I gonna choose the fully functioning adult in me to run the show for me? More in line with who I am committed to be in life.
Hey! We live on Kaua‘i! And yet we want to be angry and not trusting of each other? Give me a break! Beautiful Kaua‘i! With the most wonderful people on the planet! Right here!
So, I have to ask myself: Is it worth it? To be angry and upset all the time? Why? Can I change that? Sure. Take deep breaths and concentrate on just the air going in and out of my lungs. Hear the birds sing, the wind blowing, the sun on my face. Smile! Laugh!
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Marty Wessler is a resident of Kalaheo.
