When Dr. Christine Blasey Ford came forward with her story of attempted rape by Brett Kavanaugh, many women were thrown back to memories long buried and suppressed.
Sexual assault survivors, both female and male, understood at a visceral level why she didn’t say anything many years ago and understood what she was sacrificing by standing up now.
No one was surprised by the typical “excuses” and outright rejections of her story or minimized his behavior with trite sayings like, “boys will be boys,” or expressing concern about how many other men could falsely be brought down by similar allegations. The message this past week leading up to the hearing was clear: this is excusable behavior if you are a rich white boy/man.
The contrast in demeanor during the testimonies of Dr. Ford and Judge Brett couldn’t have been starker. Dr. Ford was polite, accommodating, yet firm in telling her story of being sexually assaulted. Her pain and anguish was evident and sexual assault survivors around the world were able to see themselves in her.
Whereas, the language, tone of voice, facial expressions and outright aggressive body language exhibited by Judge Kavanaugh and Sen. Lindsey Graham is textbook white-male-privilege-bullying behavior without any fear of retribution because the standards of behavior are different for them.
How else is their behavior deemed acceptable and — for some people — commendable? What would the reaction have been if Judge Kavanaugh were a black male?
Would Dr. Ford have elicited the same response if she showed anger at being a victim of a crime?
Their angry outbursts and portraying themselves to be the “real” victims simply reinforced for sexual assault survivors the risk of coming forward. The message that those in power, and their supporters, are sending to the women in America is that your experiences do not matter. The future of a powerful white male supersedes your feelings, your trauma, and your humanity.
This national moment, as gut-wrenching and triggering as it has been, can be a moment of true change and lead to a better understanding of the dynamics of sexual assault. True change would reflect a national dialogue focused on how he should have known better. Does he use alcohol as an excuse?
There would be more discussion about how men should respect women and their bodies at all times instead of the first reaction to sexual assault being to blame the victim. Was she drunk? Why didn’t she report sooner? She shouldn’t have been there in the first place or what did she expect?
The silver lining to this whole experience is that due to the fierce courage of Dr. Ford and many, many other survivors who are speaking up and standing up against this deeply disturbing facet of America’s moral fabric, is resulting in the norm fraying.
It’s been brought to the light and many people, women especially, are putting their foot down and demanding dignity, respect, and equality for women. Women are done waiting and hoping that men alone are going to make the necessary changes. Women are stepping up to run for office, speaking out in the streets, and voting. Women are telling their stories and refusing to be ashamed for being the victims of sexual assault.
Your YWCA of Kauai supports and believes victims of violence. If you need someone to talk to please don’t hesitate to call the 24-hour hotline at 245-4144 or 245-6362. Your call is confidential and we are here to listen and assist.
Whether you are a survivor or ally, one concrete thing every person can do to support women and their experiences is to vote. Elections are an opportunity for change. They are opportunities to lift up the voices that have been silenced or muffled.
Who do you want representing you, people who seek to silence women or people who support women’s voices?
#BelieveSurvivors
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Emiko Meyers is advocacy chair, and Renae Hamilton-Cambeilh is executive director, of the YWCA of Kauai.
