For as long as I can remember, I find myself feeling nostalgic in the fall. I am reminded that the actual “fall” season is not so easily identifiable to those of us living on Kauai. But for me, I recall
For as long as I can remember, I find myself feeling nostalgic in the fall. I am reminded that the actual “fall” season is not so easily identifiable to those of us living on Kauai. But for me, I recall precious moments of life growing up in the South, when the leaves on the huge maple and oak trees in my yard would begin to change from the verdant greens to the brilliant hues of orange, red and yellow.
Leaves would fall from the trees leaving remnants of the memory of a tree in its full Summer glory, yet now nearly naked of its covering and leaving a crunchy blanket of foliage underneath my feet. Winter was on its way. During those times and through those childhood experiences, there was an ingraining of the visual expression of the circle of life.
Years later, I read Leo Buscaglia’s brilliant children’s book “The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: A Story of Life for All Ages.” In this book, the author uses the lifecycle of a leaf as metaphor for human life and death, gracefully offering comfort and understanding to those who are wondering how to talk about death to their children.
The reader is introduced to Freddie, a young and curious leaf, who lives a complete life and finally dies a natural death. The seasons of a maple tree offer a parallel to our human life span. Freddie wonders about his existence and gets advice and reassurance from an older leaf, Daniel. When Daniel lets go of the life-giving branch, he opens the way Freddie to do the same. But Freddie holds on to life, and is the last leaf to fall after the snow has come.
In the end, he experiences his own death as painless, and discovers that it is a learning experience as well. Buscaglia’s book offers the reassurance that death is a normal part of living. The story ends on the hopeful note of spring.
“What’s happening?” they asked each other in whispers.
“It’s what happens in fall,” Daniel told them. “It’s the time for leaves to change their home. Some people call it to die.”
“Will we all die?” Freddie asked.
“Yes,” Daniel answered. “Everything dies. No matter how big or small, how weak or strong. We first do our job. We experience the sun and the moon, the wind and the rain. We learn to dance and to laugh. Then we die.”
“I won’t die!” said Freddie with determination. “Will you, Daniel?”
“Yes,” answered Daniel, “when it’s my time.”
“When is that?” asked Freddie.
“No one knows for sure,” Daniel responded.
Freddie noticed that the other leaves continued to fall. He thought, “It must be their time.” He saw that some of the leaves lashed back at the wind before they fell, others simply let go and dropped quietly. Soon the tree was almost bare.
“I’m afraid to die,” Freddie told Daniel. “I don’t know what’s down there.”
“We all fear what we don’t know, Freddie. It’s natural,” Daniel reassured him. “Yet, you were not afraid when summer became fall. They were natural changes. Why should you be afraid of the season of death?”
November is National Hospice and Palliative Care Month. It has taken me a while to understand that hospice, just like the season of fall, can be an unidentifiable understanding especially for people who have not been exposed to it. Hospice is an “experience.”
On a daily basis for the past 33 years, the Kauai Hospice team of professional staff and highly trained volunteers translates this experience into tangible services and support for families across our beautiful island community by focusing on its mission to ensure the highest quality of life for individuals and their families facing life-threatening illness; to provide bereavement support to individuals; and to promote an understanding of Hospice and Palliative Care services.
Please know how grateful Kauai Hospice is to be afforded the opportunity to show up for people who are in the midst of one of the most difficult times of life: precious moments of life and death. We do our very best to support individuals, caregivers, family, and community to know and feel confident that the end-of-life care they are providing to their loved ones is the best that can be offered and they are honoring and respecting individual choices.
So, when you hear the word “hospice,” Kauai Hospice suggests you consider these experiential concepts:
w Hospice is not a place. Hospice is an experience based on a philosophy of care.
w Hospice and palliative care programs provide professional and high quality levels of pain management, symptom control, psychosocial support, and spiritual care to patients and their families when a cure is not possible.
w Hospice grief and bereavement programs are open to anyone who has experienced loss and deep grief.
w Conversations and decisions about end of life wishes are best had sooner rather than later.
Through this specialized quality care, we see many patients and their families experience more meaningful moments together. Please find out more about hospice and palliative care by visiting www.kauaihospice.org or phone us at 245-7277.
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Lori J. Miller is executive director of Kauai Hospice.
