Welcome to the review of “happy” part two. Part one was the subject of last week’s “Corner”. “happy” is a documentary that studies many aspects of happiness. Researchers found that there are two sets of goals that people work for.
Welcome to the review of “happy” part two. Part one was the subject of last week’s “Corner”. “happy” is a documentary that studies many aspects of happiness.
Researchers found that there are two sets of goals that people work for. Extrinsic goals are focused on the external world, like image, money, or status. Intrinsic goals satisfy the individuals themselves, like personal growth, relationships, and community feeling which is a sense of helping the world to be a better place. People who focused on the external goals tend to be less happy than those focused on intrinsic goals.
Bhutan is trying to maximize the gross national happiness, rather than a gross national product. They research what will make the people really happy. They believe it is the responsibility of the government to create a place of happiness for their people. They want to create a place where people can think wholistically, rationally and spiritually.
When Dr. Diener, studied the happiest families, he found that all of them had close supportive friends or family. In Denmark, which is one of the happiest countries, citizens can “co-house,” where multiple families live in a community area. We observe one in which 26 families are given a small, private housing space. The kids are happy that they have friends at school and friends at home. People eat together with different families taking turns cooking and cleaning about twice a month. Parents get to enjoy their kids when they come home after work. Elders are grandparents for all the children. Danes also get free healthcare for life and free education though college.
Okinawans have one of the longest life spans on the planet. They feel they that are in the flow often and gardening is one of the activities that stimulate it. Daily, the elders gather in the afternoon to have tea and talk together. All ages mingle at night, singing and dancing in the streets, because there isn’t much night life there. There was a cute parade of pre-schoolers who were running some kind of race and who were “caught” by the elder women, all laughing and happy. Social bonding, social interaction and cooperation are the norm there.
Some find happiness in religion, or a spiritual connection with the source of life. But some religions aren’t happy and their congregations are less happy than the average.
The Dali Lama stated that compassion is in our blood from birth. Meditation on compassion can increase our happiness and the results are sometimes more effective than anti-depressants. CT Scans measure that people doing this meditation “Light up” parts of their brain. Some think that it actually changes the size and structure of the brain.
Dr. Berns discovered that when people are put into social settings where they can cooperate or compete with each other, they will usually cooperate, and that greatly boosts up dopamine levels.
Michael Pritchard works with teens to promote empathy for those being bullied. He speaks with the bullies and the bullied. Nearly all of the kids report being bullied. He brings up some of the bullied and has them tell their stories while he offers loving support and asks them to tell others how they want to be treated. The tears speak that it’s not fair to bully at any time. At the end of the session the bullies are carried out on the shoulders of others.
The Namimbia bushmen of the Calihari desert feel an interdependence with each other and in the natural environment. They feel responsible for each others’ health and well being. If one is ill every community member participates in activities to bring wellness to the sick member.
Happy people think of what they have that they can share, rather than what they are missing. Counting their blessings and doing acts of kindness makes them happy, particularly doing acts of kindness for others.
In Calcutta, India at Mother Teresa’s home for the dying, volunteers pick up dying people from garbage dumps and railroad stations. They treat them with kindness and let them know that they are not forgotten, that their life is precious and that someone cares. Volunteers speak of a great sweetness in taking a bit of a person’s burden away.
The narrator states that if we only seek our own happiness, it can be a selfish thing, but we can transcend our own lives by caring about things that are bigger than ourselves.
In closing, the suggestion is made that if we each spent a little time every day learning more about what makes us happy, the more of it we will have and the more everyone we know will have as well. It is recommended that we develop compassion and gratitude, play, and have new experiences, spend time with friends and family, do meaningful things, and appreciate what we have.
The movie ends with lots of dancing, fireworks and smiling. Wishing great adventures of happiness for all of you.
• Hale `Opio Kauai convened a support group of adults in our Kauai community to “step into the corner” for our teens, to answer questions and give support to youth and their families on a wide variety of issues. Please email your questions or concerns facing our youth and families today to Annaleah Atkinson at aatkinson@haleopio.org
