Planned breeding of domesticated plants and animals has been practiced continuously since the dawn of the agricultural age. Domestication itself has involved an intense, purposeful and artificial process by which preferred genes are preserved through many generations for human usefulness.
Planned breeding of domesticated plants and animals has been practiced continuously since the dawn of the agricultural age.
Domestication itself has involved an intense, purposeful and artificial process by which preferred genes are preserved through many generations for human usefulness. So, for example, from breeding a puny finger-like potato from an ancient Andean mountainside, today we can enjoy eating a spud the size of a small dog. And since it’s likely that these beneficial practices will be continued into the future, I am alerted to a current local controversy of genetic modifications of food. So, after I tore up the latest TGI letters to the editor on the controversies of smart phones and GMO crop effects on the inhabitants of Kauai, I decided that this moment demands that a rigorous and systematic scientific study be carried out to clear the air and settle out the facts from fiction.
Problem
Apprehensive, dogmatic non-experts and biased experts fabricating fearful reports about supposedly detrimental versus beneficial effects of GMO crops or smart meters on human health.
Hypothesis
That exposure of GMO corn to electro-magnetic emissions from cellphones or smart meters will cause permanent damage to cognitive capacities in animals.
Materials
Four pairs each of separately boiled, non-GMO and GMO ears of corn; one cellphone; one KIUC smart meter; two cats; two humans.
Experiment
Two sets of test subjects were recruited: Two cats (Fluffy and Lola), myself (Mr. B) and my reluctant spouse (Madame X) were fed samples of the two types of corn. Prior to consumption, the freshly boiled ears were exposed (a) to my cellphone for 10 minutes from a distance of 4 inches, (b) to our home smart meter under the same conditions, (c) to a full moon for 10 minutes, to eliminate any possible esoteric planetary influences, and (d) to nothing, which were the control samples.
Experiment results
At the end of the test period, Fluffy turned up her nose at the samples and walked away in defiance. But Lola took two to three nibbles then indicated that the GMO corn was not all that bad (since I had to baste it with a stick of fresh butter to get the cat to even try it). The outcomes for Mr. B. and Madame X were decidedly different. Madame X reported that the cellphone exposed corn prompted her to text order for some new kitchen curtains, but that the smart meter exposed corn induced her to reject the remaining samples (she claimed to be full. Humph.). Mr. B. reported that attempting to eat too many of the GMO samples impelled him to take a long nap. Results from the moon exposed corn: nil. To neutralize any detrimental effects from this experiment, the remaining corn was made into tasty corn chowder.
Conclusion
(1) Other than a two-week bout of high fever and throat gulla-gullas, impairment of the subjects’ cognitive capacities have been unharmed by the test, so far (fingers crossed!); and (2) future critics will arouse in the human subjects a lingering feelings of acute distress (see section above, The Problem).
Future study
Hypothesis: That the Garden Island can support 250,000 automobiles on its roadways.
• Dana Bekeart is a resident of Kapaa.
