Aloha Cary,
My partner and I have been together for five years. We have a good relationship though we have lost some of the initial spark. I am wondering if you can offer some ideas to help mix it up, keep things fresh, so we can feel Valentine’s Day throughout the year?
Looking to Sparkle in Lihue
Aloha Looking to Sparkle,
Thank you for your honest desire and know no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is to start, almost all couples cool off a bit over time. As we get into patterns, and we all benefit from a tune-up to break from routines, keeping the love engines fired up and running smoothly with joyous passion is forever evolving.
The following suggestions will benefit your relationship the most by both of you participating in exploring these ideas together with a sense of fun and adventure.
Heck, what’s more interesting than expanding your own heart desires in life and sharing them with the ones you love? Every day is precious, no matter how ordinary. So, let’s take a look at some fun things to do daily, weekly and periodically throughout the year:
1) Amp up paying attention to what truly lights up your partner from conversations you have had (or overhear with friends) by focusing your attention, time and soul with your partner. What kind of activities, interests, TV shows, movies do they enjoy? What are their dreams and goals? What goals do you both share? Keep a special surprise journal and write down ideas of how you could help in fulfilling their dreams.
2) Pack a picnic with gourmet food you normally don’t buy and go on a scenic hike or to a beach for the day. Perhaps secretly arranging for special friends to meet you and add to the feast of food and laughter!
3) Do something unexpected. Detail the car; gift a spa treatments for her and a best friend; treat her with tickets to a concert, sporting event; or arrange a best friend weekend fishing trip on a neighboring island. After all, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
4) Take your partner out to dinner and surprise him/her by packing an overnight bag and stay in a hotel for a romantic night (making sure they have no place to go the next morning in order to enjoy some yummy leisure time).
5) Schedule a romantic night of intimacy together at home with candlelights, music, wine, massage oils and let your imagination soar to explore new sexy places, positions; and/or try role playing to pleasure your partner and deepen your heart connection. Important hint: Try to attend to the “loving touch” before eating; so, it won’t matter if you are tired from the exercise or the wine later. Send a steamy text to your partner in the morning telling them how you can’t wait to see them later.
6) Go on a volunteer vacation outside the country. Children and adults around the globe could benefit from your time and talents. Your life (and those that you help) will be forever changed. Check out globalvolunteers.org for ideas.
7) Play Mad Libs together (an excellent source of laughter to refresh & energize the spirit).
8) Experience sizzling conversations by asking your partner questions like: tell me about the biggest lie you’ve ever told? Why did you tell it and how did you feel afterwards? Or, would you rather take a one-week $5,000 vacation or go on three different one-week vacations that cost $1,700 each?
More Questions? Get Michael Webb’s 1,000 Questions For Couples.
9) Continue to court each other. Don’t get lazy here. Everyone likes to be “woo’d.”
Tell your partner often you love them and why, followed by a passionate kiss.
Desire to own each other’s vulnerable heart and fiercely be there to protect it. A sacred treasure in which you have been entrusted.
10) Work together as a team to remove any money fears.
Get excited about how you can utilize your collective talents to meet any money issue and/or goals.
By acting on these tips they will help inspire you to come up with many more ideas to fall in love over and over again allowing you to have a lifetime of Valentines. Write back to let me know of your juicy adventures!
Malama pono,
Cary
• Cary Valentine is a certified relationship expert, author & wedding officiant. His passion is to coach singles, couples & families to overcome daily challenges and create a juicy life. More info call (808) 346-6652. Questions welcomed at: Cary@InLoveForever.tv
