Have a cool Yule, and eat well, too

I’m going to take out after this ancient winter festival with a different approach. It ends, you know, the first of January. 2014. Can you believe this?

Instead, let’s think turkey, turkey. No matter what, we seem to have eaten so much we’ll either gobble or lay an egg, then we get stuck with a roasted carcass and slices and globs of leftover meat hanging from the bones. It ain’t exactly pretty and it ain’t exactly appetizing; so, let’s make it so. And make it so we can spread it around for weeks, instead of trying to gulp it down in a few swell swoopy days.

Broth! That’s the ticket. I’m not a very good cook, even with my sturdy Vit-a-Mix and stalwart floppy chef’s hat, but I am a Scot and- boy, oh boy, do I love  pinching pennies.

Here we go. Manhandle that old bird and scrape as much meat as possible off the bones. Store these bits and pieces of Yule flotsam and jetsam in containers. If you’ve a Scottish mind, leftover plastic containers of Yule goodies dragged home from a cool gourmet counter at the super get stuffed in the freezer.

Now, dump all those old bones in a plastic ziplock bag and beat them to death with a hammer. Yeah. Break them bones. You can really get into this smashing frenzy if you want. Make believe it’s your nasty second or third cousin who made a scene and nearly ruined the day. Bang. Bang. Bang. Remember not to invite him next year.

Toss this flotsam in a pot — some salt and vinegar, too — and simmer for three hours. The broken bones and vinegar draws out the calcium in the bones. At the end of three hours let it cool, leave pieces of jetsom, if you want, and store this rich broth in plastic containers. I use shaken, clean, plastic orange juice bottles. Store these in the freezer as well. The number will depend on how much water you use.

Smush these leftover bones and feed them to the cats. Probably not too good for dogs, they can choke on a sliver.

Now you’re set for maybe a month. Ain’t wasted one drop. The French make the most delicious soup in all the world. They keep a pot of this brew simmering on the stove and add to it as desired. Who can do that today with the high cost of power? Refrigerators are always going.

You can use this stock to make Frenchlicious potions. As liquid in eggs when you’re cooking fritatas or omelets. Anytime you need a liquid in a dinner recipe. Mashed potatoes. Liquid to vegetables when you’re boiling them. Be sure and save it, it should be rich in vitamins and minerals.

The turkey meat chunks can be disguised in salads, dressings-toss them in the blender or faithful Vit-a-Mix- and enjoy. Enjoy. You’ll fool your family. Yourself. Nobody’s gonna say gobble gobble gobble damn turkey again.

Enjoy a Cool Yule all the way into a Happy New Year.

• Bettejo Dux is a Kalahelo resident and the author of “The Scam: A madcap romp through North Shore Kauai.”