LIHU‘E — Last week’s deadly shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., shocked the nation and left many parents wondering how to talk to their own children about such a tragic event. “I think that parents should let
LIHU‘E — Last week’s deadly shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., shocked the nation and left many parents wondering how to talk to their own children about such a tragic event.
“I think that parents should let kids direct the conversation,” said Dr. Brad Klontz, a local clinical psychologist and former president of the Hawai‘i Psychological Association.
Klontz works as a psychologist for the Hawai‘i Department of Education and is also an addictions specialist, consultant, speaker and author.
Parents must also consider what is developmentally appropriate, Klontz said.
Deborah Ullman, a behavioral health educational specialist for the DOE on Kaua‘i, agrees that parents should let children bring the conversation to the table and address their questions directly.
“If they ask, give them something,” she said. “Don’t ignore it because that’s when their imagination begins to take over.”
The most important message Klontz says parents should be sending their children right now in the Sandy Hook aftermath is that schools are safe.
“What happened (at Sandy Hook) is such a low incident type event,” he said. “The likelihood of that happening is very, very small. We don’t want to make kids really anxious about things they can’t control.”
Klontz said a parent’s level of anxiety following such event can have a big impact on their children.
“Kids look to parents,” he said. “As a child it’s natural for me to look to my parent to decide what should I be worried about or not.”
Klontz said it’s important that parents do not pass their own worry down to their children.
When asked what parents can do, Klontz said they can “make sure the news is off when children are home.”
Ultimately, Klontz believes there really is no way for a parent to prepare a child for a situation like the one in Newtown, where 26 people — including 20 children — were gunned down in one of the worst mass shootings in U.S. history.
“There is really nothing that a child can do,” he said. “Really, what children need to be told is your teachers, the principal, they’re there to protect you. If anything scary happens, just go to them and follow their direction. They’re there to take care of you.”
What is important is that children feel safe and secure, he said.
Make sure to check out Thursday’s edition of The Garden Island for an article about how local schools are addressing the recent event and what resources are available for students.
