There are many ways we measure our success in a life, but the most important is if we feel successful and happy. In other words, we feel successful if we have achieved the goals we wanted to. Some people have
There are many ways we measure our success in a life, but the most important is if we feel successful and happy.
In other words, we feel successful if we have achieved the goals we wanted to. Some people have “general” goals, such as, “I want to live a good life.”
For some people the goals are very defined, such as I want to be a high school math teacher, a nuclear physicist, a good mother or a doctor. These are long-term goals. They will take time to achieve.
If we look at each of the above goals, we realize that there are many smaller goals that lead to those greater goals. These are called short-term goals.
For example: My long-term goal is to be a math teacher. Short-term goals are that I have to do well enough in high school to be accepted to a college that offers a curriculum in teaching high school math, and can even certify me to teach it. Then I’ll have to pass all of those classes and be successful student teaching.
I’ll have to be comfortable speaking in front of teenagers, and working with high school staff, family and community organizations. That will require that I have a good ability to express myself, and use a computer. I’ll be responsible for keeping myself updated on curriculum changes and new teaching techniques so that my students are prepared for their future goals.
And jobs evolve with the culture, so a job I’m thinking of now will most likely be different in another five or 10 years.
Now anywhere along the goal path, I may find that I’m not as good in an area as I need to be. I may need to take a course, hang out with mentors and friends or work part-time in a place that can help me improve my skills. For example, if I’m a parent and my children are misbehaving and not listening to me, I could take a “Parent Effectiveness Training” (PET) class. (www.gordontraining.com/parent-programs/parent-effectiveness-training-p-e-t/)
If I don’t like to speak in front of others, there are public speaking classes I might need to take. Toastmasters is an international organization that’s lots of fun and helps people learn how to speak publicly with no pressure for about $36 every six weeks. (www.toastmasters.org)
The most important factor in goal setting is that it reflects what we want to do with our lives. Life is very precious, and it is our right to pursue happiness. Now sometimes I’ve had to take some tough jobs because it made me happier to provide for my kids than to see them go without what I thought was important for them to have.
To decide what goals are good for you, it helps to ask yourself some questions. There are many websites with guidelines to help you.
One I found interesting was about a man named Jonathan Mooney, who had severe learning disabilities and couldn’t read until he was 12. He graduated from Brown University, a top college, with honors in English.
When he was asked what motivated him, he said that passion (meaning an intense desire or enthusiasm for something) was No. 1. He said, “Figure out what you care about and let it motivate you.” He also said the people needed to have “intrinsic motivation.”
He stated, “Intrinsic motivation develops from within oneself and is based on one’s true, individual passions and interests. External motivation — such as earning a gold star or top grades, conforming to the goals other people impose on you — will, at the end of the day, fail you. Adults who work with kids should encourage them — through dialogue and support — to discover their intrinsic motivation.”
He also said that sometimes anger is a motivator for him. When he was at college, he wanted to major in English literature. A school official said that with his grades he should consider something less “intellectual” (smart). It made Jonathan so mad that he enrolled in four English literature classes, and got a perfect 4.0 grade-point average! He doesn’t recommend anger for long though, as you can get off track. (www.greatschools.org/special-education/health/799-goal-setting-motivation-teens-ld-or-ad-hd.gs)
Finding what we have passion for is a task only we can do for ourselves, but there are some questions successful people can help you ask. I found a website with some good questions at www.teenhelp.com/teen-issues/goal-setting.html:
What do I want out of life?
• What do I most enjoy doing?
• What gives me joy?
• What do I value? (What’s important to me?)
• Who is someone I admire and what characteristics do they have?
• If I could solve a world problem, what would it be?
• What am I good at?
• What makes me motivated?
• Where do I see myself in 5 years, 10, 15, 50?
• Where would I like to go?
These shouldn’t be rushed through. Write down your thoughts. Enjoy this. It’s always good to get to know yourself. Talk your answers over with people you trust and get their feedback. Use your imagination, but be realistic.
If this set of questions doesn’t point you to something, try another of the over 2,000,000 hits came up for “teen goal setting” on Google.
Why wait? I just had a lot of fun Googling “teen success” stories, and reading about kids who set goals for themselves and who became millionaires before they were 20!
School will be starting soon. What better time to start goal planning than right now!
∫ Hale ‘Opio Kaua‘i convened a support group of adults in our community to ‘step into the corner’ for our teens, to answer questions and give support to youth and their families on a wide variety of issues. Email questions or concerns facing youth and families today to Annaleah Atkinson at aatkinson@haleopio.org.
