Getting Funke

I called an audible this weekend. Not unlike Peyton Manning, I

surveyed my options at the line of scrimmage and determined that I

needed a new plan of attack.

I called an audible this weekend.

Not unlike Peyton Manning, I surveyed my options at the line of scrimmage and determined that I needed a new plan of attack.

My audible came nowhere near a football field, but in my preparation for my Halloween costume.

I typically do a group costume with a few friends of mine and this year they wanted to go with “Avatar” characters. Now, I’m one of the eight or so people remaining who haven’t seen “Avatar,” so I wasn’t overly enthusiastic about the choice, but it seemed like it could be fun.

I was leaving it up to the rest of the group to acquire the supplies, which essentially just entailed a large quantity of blue body paint and very few items of clothing.

The day before Halloween, I was on Hulu watching some old favorites of mine and began a block of three or four episodes of “Arrested Development.”

After that, everything magically fell into place.

“Of course,” I thought to myself. “I’m taking my blue paint and going rogue.”

This TV show is near and dear to my heart, a series that went out after just three seasons of mysteriously low ratings.

One of the main characters, Tobias Funke, played by the always-fantastic David Cross, decides in season two that he wants to become a member of the Blue Man Group.

Only, he never actually auditions. He just walks around in freshly smeared blue paint from head to toe, along with his trusty jean shorts.

So now my costume was simple. I would be Tobias as Blue Man Group wannabe. The paint was already purchased and the rest of the costume was fairly simple.

I rolled up a pair of jeans, popped the lenses out of an oversized pair of sunglasses and took a fake mustache from a collection my friend just happened to have in his drawer — apparently leftovers from last year’s Halloween costume, but I have my doubts.

Once the costume was complete, I was incredibly proud of myself.

I had become a beloved character, one who would certainly be the talk of the party I was headed to.

But here’s the thing.

When a show gets cancelled for poor ratings, it is typically because not that many people are watching it.

Yes, that is quite an obvious statement.

Which means that not that many people had any idea who I was.

What probably did not help was that I arrived along with five other people covered in blue paint.

So instead of the “Oh man, you’re Tobias! That is brilliant!” response I had envisioned in my deluded mind, I’m pretty sure most of the comments other people made to each other were more along the lines of “Do you remember a nerdy character in ‘Avatar?’ I’m certain none of them wore jean shorts.”

However, I’m still claiming victory for my costume, because I feel like I nailed the essence of a legendary (to a select few) figure in pop culture.

And if next year I decide to go as Buster and people think I’m “nerdy Captain Hook,” so be it.