DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend took me to my prom this past weekend, but he was a real drag. He and I have been dating for about a year. We usually have fun, and he either treats me or we split
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend took me to my prom this past weekend, but he was a real drag. He and I have been dating for about a year. We usually have fun, and he either treats me or we split the costs. For my prom — my big, big night — he didn’t spend one dime. Well, he rented his tux, but he even told me that I had to pay for the flowers. Now, it’s not a finance thing. He and his family have plenty of money. It’s crazy. I don’t get it. We had talked about everything beforehand, including the cost of things, and he sounded down for everything. And then he never opened his wallet. All the rest of us pitched in for the limo and for the various things we spent money on — except him. What gives? How should I handle this? I feel betrayed.
— Lindy, Scarsdale, N.Y.
Dear Lindy: Shouldn’t you have paid for most of those expenses in advance? If you never discussed specific costs and what he would be expected to pay, that might be why he didn’t assume he would have expenses. But the date normally pays for the boutonniere and corsage. He’s your boyfriend. You should ask him straight up why he didn’t help pay. Even though it may seem awkward, if you don’t talk, it will likely fester and you will stay mad or disappointed with him. Find out why he broke form and if it means anything about your relationship.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am so upset. I have had perfect credit, never late on a bill or anything. I have been working for about 15 years. I do have credit cards and I lease a car. I have been extremely responsible in part because my parents were irresponsible when I was growing up. Then I got into a car accident and have been out on disability for about two months. I can’t work yet, and the bills are piling up. I feel like crying. I don’t want the accident to destroy all that I’ve done to build my credit. What can I do?
— Marcia, Birmingham, Ala.
Dear Marcia: Don’t give up on yourself yet. Contact each of your creditors immediately. Let them know what has happened to you, and appeal for leniency. You can request that they make a reduced-payment plan that you believe you can manage. You can even ask for a suspension of having to pay for a few months until you get back on your feet. Be sure to ask them not to send your delinquency to the credit-reporting agencies. Ask them to trust you and to work with you.
The key is remaining proactive just as you have been all along, which is why you have stellar credit. Your creditors want to be paid. They will truly appreciate hearing from you. You may find that this leg of your journey is easier to navigate than you think.
• Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com.
