DEAR HARRIETTE: There have been a lot of natural disasters recently, so many that my kids have noticed them from snippets on the news. I have two children who are 6 and 7. Now, every time it threatens to rain,
DEAR HARRIETTE: There have been a lot of natural disasters recently, so many that my kids have noticed them from snippets on the news. I have two children who are 6 and 7. Now, every time it threatens to rain, they are worried about going outside for fear they will die. Or our family will die. How can I calm them when, in reality, I cannot protect them from natural disasters? I don’t want to lie to them, but they are almost in panic mode right now.
— Laura, Dallas, Texas
Dear Laura: This has been a tough year for disastrous weather news, especially earthquakes. I think that even adults have become a bit wary of the elements. That doesn’t necessarily help you, though. But you can tell them that storms of all kinds happen all the time around the world, and only rarely do they happen near them. Remind them of all the sunny days they have enjoyed and even fun times they have had during bad weather — when they played inside and had a ball — or some other specific experience you can tag a memory on. Point out that most days everyone is safe, so it’s perfectly fine to believe that they are going to be safe. As their mother, let them know that it is your job to pay attention to the weather. If bad weather is on the way, you will keep them safe. Claim that fully. It is true that you will do your absolute best to protect them under all circumstances so let them rest easy in that knowledge.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother has asked me to send my daughter to stay with her during part of the summer. My mom lives in the South, and that’s what my siblings and I used to do when we were growing up. The thing is, my mom is not well, and my daughter is very active and only 9 years old. I’m concerned that my daughter will be too much for my mom, and if no one’s there to help out, it could become a problem for both. When I started to explain my thinking, my mother got so sad. I don’t want to disappoint her, but I don’t think this is a good idea.
— Velma, San Francisco, Calif.
Dear Velma: Trust your instincts, but don’t give up on an amended version of the plan. Consider traveling with your daughter to your mom’s so that both of you can visit for a week or so. If you can do that, just make yourself scarce during a good part of each day so they can have bonding time. If you can’t work it out to go yourself, identify a neighbor or even a baby-sitting service that you can engage to help out. You can hire someone to help cook meals and watch your daughter during her visit so that your mother has the support she needs.
• Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is the acting editor in chief of Ebony magazine. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o United Feature Syndicate, 200 Madison Ave., New York, NY 10016.
