It’s all about families

The essence of Kaua‘i was reaffirmed for me last weekend at the East Side Family Summit. This annual event is a collaborative effort of many agencies and organizations that participate in the East Side Drug Prevention Coalition. The weather cooperated and hundreds of people were there having fun, listening to speakers and participating in educational activities for all ages. Keiki were busy digging in potting soil for plastic worms, writing letters to their parents, painting pictures of their families, putting together puzzles, side-by-side with their parents or guardian. Organizations offered information on the services and resources available to families.

Over the past five years, as I have worked with individuals and organizations to find ways to support public education and combat substance abuse, I am constantly reminded of the importance of families and the support systems that enhance a child’s life. There is truth to the old African proverb that it takes a whole village to raise a child.

Parents and guardians have the responsibility to provide children with a caring environment and the values and skills they need to do well in school and in life. Their job is to help their children develop healthy behaviors, a sense of morality and a solid character. They do this by sharing their love, spending time together, teaching new skills, and providing a structure the child can rely on. Parents have expectations for their child’s behavior and share those expectations lovingly. They offer praise for accomplishments and reassurance and strong guidance for mistakes. If the child is fortunate, there are grandparents, aunties, uncles and older cousins to help show the way.

But what happens when parents are too busy working to spend much time with their keiki? Or what if they aren’t sure how to pass along values and expectations? What happens when there are no close relatives living nearby?

Traditionally in our communities, neighbors helped reinforce these values and skills, providing another caring adult in a child’s life. But many of our neighborhoods are changing. What happens when the adults no longer watch out for their neighbor’s children?

The stresses on families can be many, such as worry about money, crowded housing, long hours at work and time-consuming commutes.

As the proverb says, it is the responsibility of all of us to help raise children. Businesses have a role by making sure employees are paid a fair wage and have time to be with their families and opportunities to attend special school events.

We as neighbors have a role by being watchful for the children on our street and being a friend to them.

Schools have a role by reinforcing values and skills, and helping children gain the knowledge they need to do well in this world. They also offer after-school clubs and sports activities that enrich and engage children.

Nonprofits have a role to provide a wide range of services for children and parents — from after-school activities to health and nutrition services to programs that help build parenting skills.

Finally, government has a role, such as providing parks and recreational activities and making sure housing is located near places of employment so commutes are lessened.

Strengthening Kaua‘i’s families is a job for all of us, for from this come more capable, well-rounded children who will one day take their place in the world as future parents, business people and leaders. We are the village.

To help nonprofits do an even better job of providing needed services for the community, Kaua‘i Planning & Action Alliance is hosting a one-day conference for board members and executive directors so they can increase their organizational effectiveness.

“Building Capacity in Kaua‘i Nonprofits” will be held March 4. For more information, visit www.kauainetwork.org or call 632-2005.

• Diane Zachary is president and CEO of Kaua‘i Planning & Action Alliance. She can be reached at kpaa@kauainetwork.org