“It is just something people don’t want to talk about,” Renae Porch says. She is talking about dating violence. Porch is the teen co-ordinator for the Domestic Violence Clearinghouse and Legal Hotline. Although based on Oahu, Porch’s program is also
“It is just something people don’t want to talk about,” Renae Porch says.
She is talking about dating violence.
Porch is the teen co-ordinator for the Domestic Violence Clearinghouse and Legal Hotline.
Although based on Oahu, Porch’s program is also one phone call away on Kaua’i.
Porch’s group is partnered on Kaua’i with the YWCA.
On Oahu, Porch and her staff are going out to the high schools to discuss teen dating violence with those most affected – teenagers.
“We talk to both male and female students. Violence starts by someone thinking they have the right to control another person,” Porch said.
She tries to make it clear to the students she sees that: “People aren’t possessions.”
Porch said that although the problem is serious in Hawai’i, it isn’t restricted to this island state.
“It’s not any worse here than anywhere else in the country. I’ve gotten calls about the program from Rhode island. North Carolina just called me last week to talk about what we’re doing.
Porch is hoping to expand the 15-month-old program into the schools on the outer islands, including Kaua’i.
“We received a grant in November of 2000 (to begin). We have a teen advocate and a teen coordinator here (on Oahu). And a teen co-ordinator on Maui and Kauai,” Porch said.
The Domestic Violence Clearinghouse has already taken its message to more than 2000 students.
“We have several components to the program. The classic (component) is education. No one deserves to be hurt. We get the information out (to the teens), Porch said.
She noted that there are warning signs that someone you are dating might be potentially violent.
“There are red flags. Excessive jealousy. Isolation, pulling you away from all your friends,” Porch said.
Other danger signs are:
– sexual coercion
– threats
– name calling
– not allowing you to make any relationship decisions.
– intimidation
– blaming others for all problems (not taking responsibility).
These are also some of the danger signs in domestic violence in marriages and adult relationships. But Porch doesn’t use the term domestic violence in her work.
“We call it dating violence. They (teens) think of domestic violence as something to do with their parents’ generation,” Porch noted.
There are also warning signs for parents to look for according to Porch.
– Does their partner seem to be checking up on them?
– Have they changed the way they dress? Wearing long sleeves and pants even when it’s hot?
– Have you noticed unexplained cuts and bruises?
– Have they stopped seeing all their other friends?
Parents who think their child may be in an abusive relationship also can be involved.
Domestic Violence Clearinghouse is available for teen victims and parents who want to help.
On Kaua’-i call 245-6362 or the Neighbor Island Hotline at 1-800-690-6200.
