Jason Gallic Plate lunches. They’re advertised on television, in magazines and newspapers. They’re chowed by a full 50 percent of the people at Vidinha or Hanapepe Stadiums during sporting events. McDonald’s must’ve started to feel the squeeze, because the major
Jason Gallic
Plate lunches.
They’re advertised on television, in magazines and
newspapers. They’re chowed by a full 50 percent of the people at Vidinha or
Hanapepe Stadiums during sporting events.
McDonald’s must’ve started to
feel the squeeze, because the major fast-food chain just recently began
offering them as a menu option.
Let’s say on average, a plate lunch will
cost you $5.
Before taxes, new Texas Ranger Alex Rodriguez could afford
50,400,000 of the delectable delights.
Clearly this column won’t be about
plate lunches.
Rodriguez, the former Seattle Mariner, signed a 10-year,
$252 million contract Monday afternoon to play a game in Texas. He is a
lifetime .309 hitter over his seven seasons, who has recorded an average of 27
home runs and 85 RBI. And he’s a shortstop.
As it is every time another
monster contract is awarded to a game player, this is again a sad testament to
the value of sport in America. This, however, could absolutely be the straw
that not only breaks the camel’s back, but forces the poor animal into years of
rehab.
Dollars like those used to crown Rodriguez, who is just 25,
undoubtedly will open the floodgates just as NBA star Kevin Garnett’s paltry
six-year, $126 million deal did just three years ago. But where are we headed?
For players like the New York Yankees’ Derek Jeter? Or the Los Angeles Lakers’
Kobe Bryant? Or any number of franchise-making stars? How far are we from a
$300 million contract?
Not very.
Then those pampered athletes will be
able to afford 60,000,000 plate lunches.
Punks.
But the contract at
hand is Rodriguez’s, and the perfectly staggering numbers it allots. Keep in
mind, he is now worth a quarter-BILLION dollars. He could purchase both the
Minnesota Twins ($91 million) and the Montreal Expos ($89 million) if he so
chose. Of course, then he’d have just $72 million with which to live.
How
about a little closer to home, you might ask? How would the dollars now vested
in this young man play out on Kaua’i?
A very popular vehicle here, the
Nissan Xterra, stickers for $21,049. That’s what you’d pay for a 4×4 with a
six-cylinder engine. Rodriguez could fill his garage with 11,972 of them. I
don’t think they come in that many colors.
The average price for a gallon
of gas on the island Tuesday was about $2.05. Hope those Xterra’s come with big
tanks, because Rodriguez can afford 122,926,829 gallons of petrol (regular
unleaded; though the athlete likely will step his grade up to
premium.).
The holiday season is alive and well here. I’ve seen signs
showing trees for $45, but to get one full, bushy and able to fill your house
with a pine scent, you might spend $75. That’s 3,360,000 trees by Rodriguez
numbers. You could suffocate on pine scent of that strength.
While these
numbers may throw you back in your seat, consider this: Alex Rodriguez would
have to spend $1,438.50 around the clock for 20 years to rid himself of all the
dollars he now is worth. And we haven’t even floated endorsement-money
numbers.
It’s stunning, and yet so far removed from money, really. Alex
Rodriguez doesn’t need that kind of cash; nobody NEEDS that kind of cash. The
contract is an attempted statement about the kind of player he is, about the
kind of dollar he can command. It’s a display of ego more than an assurance
that Rodriguez will be able to pay his electric bill.
And while it may be
interesting — or disturbing, really — to calculate what Rodriguez can now
afford, a true slap in baseball’s — heck, sports’ — face has been
administered. We’re approaching the point in athletics where perhaps two
championships should be contended for professionally: the payroll title, and
the small-market title.
Let the Milwaukee Bucks and Kansas City Royals of
the sporting world battle it out with other teams in their respective sports
who also can’t afford quarter-billion dollar contracts.
Oh, and as if you
needed any more blood-curdling examples of the kind of money Rodriguez has been
awarded: the player makes $45,000 for every at bat. If he walks to the plate
four times in a game, he makes enough money to educate 28 public students on
Kaua’i for an entire year (according to 1998-99 figures).
